I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Randomize
