How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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