I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
