Well apparently he's into motor boating.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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