i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
My pussy is not your playground.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
