He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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