At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
