allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
