And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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