well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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