I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
