we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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