Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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