I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
