I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
