How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I think I won the penis lottery.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
