Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
