Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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