Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
