i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
