at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
