Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
