just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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