The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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