I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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