either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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