Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Randomize
