Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
