i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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