Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
