And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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