You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
