I bet he comes in French.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
