Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
