fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
