Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
