I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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