New low: just hacked my moms facebook
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Alive.
So much puke
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
