I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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