so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
