If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
