Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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