It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
