i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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