"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
