walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize