I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
