And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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