the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
