i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
