So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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