I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
