I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
