I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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