I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Little spoons don't ask big questions
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
