He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
